These days there is such a pressure to be happy and think positive. We constantly feel we should stop being unhappy about our unhappiness, stop being anxious, stop being sad, stop feeling confused or worried. And yet these are all facets of the complexity of being human; it is precisely because we feel this full range of emotions that we are who we are. Can we possibly be happy all the time, is that realistic, or interesting?
How about if we didn’t avoid these challenging feelings, if we didn’t try to stuff them down or hide them under temporary attempts at happiness, such as buying those new shoes or having a few drinks? If you are sad or anxious or worried for a while, will you die of it? No!
Sometimes it is okay to turn and focus on the not great feelings and work them through. Understand that your observation of the world and your place in it is not the world, it is just your interpretation, and the feelings you are going through are being triggered by your interpretations, by your thoughts. And here is some good news: you can change your thoughts. Sometimes you can feel sad or anxious, but when you accept that it is your choice to engage in these feelings for a while, then you begin to shift yourself into a different position. You are no longer a ship that is being tossed around on a stormy sea, or a victim of circumstances, you are a person with choices. And that is the first step to empowerment and taking control of your life. Begin to think in a way that serves you and doesn’t keep you stuck. If you can’t do it by yourself, then seek help from friends, family, or a therapist until you get the momentum going.
Dr Jules
If the subject matter in this article resonates with you, then counselling might be a good option to help you to move forward. I offer a free 20-minute consultation so we can explore how I might be able to help you.
This article was also posted at English Informer in France.
How about if we didn’t avoid these challenging feelings, if we didn’t try to stuff them down or hide them under temporary attempts at happiness, such as buying those new shoes or having a few drinks? If you are sad or anxious or worried for a while, will you die of it? No!
Sometimes it is okay to turn and focus on the not great feelings and work them through. Understand that your observation of the world and your place in it is not the world, it is just your interpretation, and the feelings you are going through are being triggered by your interpretations, by your thoughts. And here is some good news: you can change your thoughts. Sometimes you can feel sad or anxious, but when you accept that it is your choice to engage in these feelings for a while, then you begin to shift yourself into a different position. You are no longer a ship that is being tossed around on a stormy sea, or a victim of circumstances, you are a person with choices. And that is the first step to empowerment and taking control of your life. Begin to think in a way that serves you and doesn’t keep you stuck. If you can’t do it by yourself, then seek help from friends, family, or a therapist until you get the momentum going.
Dr Jules
If the subject matter in this article resonates with you, then counselling might be a good option to help you to move forward. I offer a free 20-minute consultation so we can explore how I might be able to help you.
This article was also posted at English Informer in France.